Can’t Make This Stuff Up

I’ve been trying to take a beach walk for 3 days. Life intervened. As soon as I arrived in Encinitas for my monthly visit with Dad, I’ve been running around. The first crisis was when he complained his new hearing aids kept falling out of his ears. I scheduled a visit to the audiologist. However the next morning I got to his apartment to find him long faced, explaining that he somehow flushed his left hearing aid down the toilet. I was willing to dive in to the plumbing until he explained his stomach was upset and it involved #2. Nope, not gonna go there. He stripped his clothing for a full body inspection. I hand delivered an insurance claim to expedite a replacement. Then I wondered if perhaps the problem was that he had them reversed. Sure enough, when I brought the remaining hearing aid into Costco they confirmed it. “We color code the devices,” the rep said. “Red for right. Blue for left.” Nice strategy; however Sid is color blind.

This morning I arrived at Dad’s place to find him sheepishly holding 2 hearing aids. He found the missing one laying in the hallway in front of his door. Someone, a Good Samaritan, anonymously delivered it. Amazing karma! I tried to cancel the replacement claim. I re-inserted both aids into the correct ears. I would be mad at him but honestly, these gadgets are tricky. Plus last week he stole a pile of chocolate covered matzoh from the dining room and kept it in his walker seat for me. That’s love.

We had another talk about transitioning into assisted living, using this latest debacle as an example of how a little more help was needed to get through the day. It was a teachable moment. He calls it “the fancy bathroom place.” In the meantime, I’m arranging all sorts of services: nurse visits, repackaged medications, assistance with the laundry. I bumped into a little old lady using an electric mobility chair, and her husband told me that they plan to sell it to get one with a longer distance battery. I offered them cash on the spot. Sid could ride a red scooter at speeds up to 4 mph to relieve his compromised body (he has COPD along with atrial fibrillation, arthritis and diabetes).

The irony is that I was interviewed today by the Seattle Times about patient advocacy. I explained that you do whatever is necessary to make things easier. I didn’t mention that my skills are tested every hour!