So Many Mysteries

1. Why is it that my folks are stone deaf unless it’s convenient that they’re not? They argued loudly in the doctor’s waiting room this morning about the cost of their prescriptions, the Medicare donut hole policy, the stupidity of Republicans, why are there so many obese people, etc. – was I mortified? Yes. Was everyone else amused? Mostly – not the fat people. My mother’s eye is doing great, by the way. Her social skills are still terrible.
2. Why was there a pile of hamburger buns on the living room floor, and in the middle of it, a bound copy of my Master’s thesis from 1984? A connection between the two, I cannot fathom. Then again, my topic was adolescent decision-making skills and my parents are rapidly regressing to children.

3. Why are there so many metal chairs in the backyard? I arranged for a guy with a truck to come tomorrow morning to take away the rusting yard furniture, most of it more than 25 years old and broken. This of course started a nasty argument in the parking lot of Costco over what was junk and what was “salvageable with a little paint.” Then they used the bathroom in the Tire Store, leading to my father bemoaning that he no longer had a car and missed the smell of rubber. Yes, I felt guilty about the removal of his driver’s license, and no, I did not confess my role. See picture of Dad nodding off by the Costco watermelons, waiting for his Rx to be filled.

4. Why do they need to take home the half-eaten bread, the pats of butter, and all the unused napkins when we go to a restaurant? That depression-era mentality is amazing. The new items are going to fill up the spaces I created last night as I attempted to dig through the mess – it’s sad that my impact is so short-lived.

5. Why are there no wireless connections in this town unless I go to a bar? The neighbor clued me in to a new pub – which actually serves great Buffalo chicken wings. That cheered me up. I’m now going to swim laps in the local YMCA pool – it’s 90 degrees out, I’m greasy, and I’m avoiding going back to their house until the cover of darkness when I can clean again.

Just came back to more screaming – it was intolerable – so I left to go to the local drive-in theatre for some nostalgia and fantasy. Last time I saw a drive-in movie I was 10!

So Many Layers

I’m back in San Diego, the stories start again. Mom got a virectomy on her eye this morning to clear up the debris floating around from prior surgeries (outpatient, done with lasers to remove cataract remnants and vitreous floaters). A strange historical moment: the Scripps Mercy admitting nurse handing my 90-year old mother a Fujitsu tablet and asking her to tap consent into the Electronic Medical Record system -- Mom's first high tech experience. I had faith in her surgeon's attention to detail because he noticed my many bruises and asked if I was okay (I fell off a ladder recently – the garage looks good, I don’t.) Today is Mom’s actual birthday. After surgery was over, the medical staff decorated her with a giant banner like a beauty queen; I promptly posted the picture on Facebook to rave reviews. Considering all the things that might have gone wrong, the procedure was quite the success. We celebrated with takeout deli and cheesecake (not at all diabetic-compliant).

Afterwards, I took advantage of my mother’s lack of sight and my father’s exhaustion to throw out rotting fruit, stale Halloween candy and assorted artifacts. Did you know that overripe bananas explode when disturbed? I tossed hundreds of magazines in the recycle bin and discovered the mystery cache of soda cans that my father was planning to turn in for a reward. After ants started to crawl up my legs, I needed a sanity break at Santee’s newest hip hideout – the local microbrewery. It’s 5 minutes away, it has decent beer, but alas, with no wifi connection, it’s not such a find. I’m back sitting in a lawn chair on the driveway, hacking into the neighbor’s connection. I bought my father a year’s supply of kitchen garbage bags, which was an exciting product discovery – he’s been taping together plastic grocery sacks for decades. His 90th birthday is this Sunday, so that might be his present.

Another action-packed day is planned for tomorrow with appointments and errands. I am determined to eliminate the rusty lawn furniture in the back yard, wish me luck.