Tuesday, May 22, 2012

When Mom Pees Blue


We had the long awaited healthcare crisis a few days ago, when my mother was taken to the hospital for dehydration and diarrhea. I was actually relieved, since I thought she would finally trigger an all-out community alert for quick transfer to the nearest skilled nursing facility. No such luck; they pumped her up with fluid and sent her home. She complained endlessly about everyone’s stupidity, then called me in a panic as she noticed her urine was blue. I alerted her nurse case manager. I Googled side effects of antibiotics. I wondered if my father was poisoning her. Well, guess what. They now have a weekly house cleaner – who scrubbed the toilet with blue liquid cleanser. And then didn’t flush it.
Medical mystery solved, leading to the next problem – Mom lost a molar crown when she finally started eating again after a week of milkshakes. She carefully put the remnants in a cup on the kitchen table, and then it disappeared under the mounds of crumbling coupons, never to be seen again. It’s unlikely that the dentist would have wanted to re-glue the pieces, but that doesn’t matter. Why waste a perfectly good piece of porcelain? Now Mom and Dad match – he lost a crown 6 months ago and refuses to get it fixed – why bother spending money on dental care when he doesn’t like to smile.
I’m dealing with my own dental issues, and I just checked my urine, and this is making me even more paranoid about aging.

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