My saintly errands today included taking my mother for a hair (and eyebrow) trim. I hauled my father to the DMV where he turned in his drivers license to get a senior ID instead (the final act of the automobile saga and my guilty but necessary role to remove him from the roads). I kept his license as a memento. He told the clerk that I was a good driver and he taught me how to be careful – OMG, probably not the time to mention I recently smashed up my front bumper, eh? Hey, I hear you all laughing, stop that. Then we went to the tool discount warehouse in the ghetto of El Cajon -- I understood that he needed to wander the aisles of manhood.
Dad found cheap amplifiers to wear in his decaying ears since he refuses to spend money on a hearing aid. My mother couldn’t navigate the steps so she went next door to the military surplus store, where she inspected the ammo and tried on hats to replace the ones I threw out on my last visit. I took her back to the car before she tried to bargain for used uniforms, and she proudly showed me her turquoise socks that had the initials of KV on the cuffs. I recognized those socks – they were mine, from 8th grade.
Tomorrow I will be transporting them to their doctor, who will tell me that they are obstinate, and I will meet their home health nurse, who will tell me that they are challenging. Then I will somehow find my way to a large margarita before escaping. I will fly back to my beautiful home, where I just learned that my cats peed and pooped all over my guest bed – and possibly mine. Feline acting out behavior for their own parental issues.
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